


Unexplainable, a love that only we could understand

by edeldolatyme



Series: Edelmendola One Shots [3]
Category: National Football League RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Break Up, Coming Out, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 09:14:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6073627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edeldolatyme/pseuds/edeldolatyme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Please at least stay the night? One last night is all I'm asking you for, please Danny.” The Californian didn't care that tears were streaming down his face or how desperate he sounded, he just wanted, needed to feel Danny one more time before he had to let go of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unexplainable, a love that only we could understand

**Author's Note:**

> First part was slightly inspired by One Direction - Love you goodbye  
> That's also the song where I took the title from.  
> Oh and btw I don't have a BETA reader and my native language is not English so please excuse any mistakes and feel free to point them out to me :-)
> 
> Disclaimer: None of these persons belong to me and every action described is taken from my imagination, I also don't earn any moeny with this.

“No Danny please, give me another chance, you can't do that to me!” Julian was begging, he knew that but he saw no other way to make Danny stay.  
The older one, however, just looked at him sadly, shaking his head. “Julian, you had so many chances lately and didn't take any of them. I can't do this anymore, seeing you walk around with random girls by your side just because you can't be honest to yourself and your family about who you really are. I tried to support and help you but you wouldn't let me so know I have to do what's best for me.” Danny turned around to leave the room and Julian knew this was his last chance.  
“Please at least stay the night? One last night is all I'm asking you for, please Danny.” The Californian didn't care that tears were streaming down his face or how desperate he sounded, he just wanted, needed to feel Danny one more time before he had to let go of him.  
Danny stopped, his back still turned towards Julian but he was hesitating which Julian counted as a little win. The words that left the older guy's mouth, however, felt like Julian's heart was being ripped out of his chest.  
“I can't Julian that would only make it worse for both of us. I'm leaving now and I'm asking you not to contact me. Goodbye Jules!”  
With that he continued his way to the door and closed it quietly behind him.  
Julian collapsed into a sobbing mess on the floor. He couldn't believe that Danny seriously had left him. Hadn't they been the couple that could fight everything, no matter what? When did it all go wrong? Deep inside himself Julian knew that it was mainly his fault and the pain cut so deep that all he could think of was how much he still loved Danny and that he had fucked it up. 

 

4 months later

 

Julian didn't know how he had survived the last few months. Ever since Danny had broke up with him he was a shadow of himself and was lucky that it was the off season as otherwise he wouldn't have been able to cope. As Danny had asked him he hadn't tried to contact him even though it had been hard, especially during the first weeks and after Danny had ended his contract with New England and had signed with the Eagles. Now, Julian was just numb and went about his days on autopilot, not really registering what exactly he was doing. Today though was quite an important day for him which he had been planning for weeks. After several talks with the team they had come up with an agreement that suited whichever outcome of today.  
For the first time since the break up, Julian actually paid attention to what he was wearing and he even put on some aftershave. On the short drive to the stadium, he felt nerves bubbling up in his stomach which he tried to ignore. He couldn't mess this up today.  
At the stadium, Coach and Robert Kraft were already waiting for him and Julian couldn't be more thankful for them to support him. Before he went out to face the press, Robert Kraft came over to him. “I know this is an important day for you, son. I have all the faith in you that you will continue to bring pride and joy to this organisation. However, remember even if it doesn't go like we want it too, there is nothing you have to be afraid of, ok?”  
Julian nodded, not trusting his voice so he just gave the other man a quick hug. In that moment, Theo, one of the guys from PR who had been helping with preparing all this came up to them, telling Julian that it was time to go outside. Taking a deep breath he looked at his Coach who just gave him an encouraging nod and then he walked through the door into the press room.  
Sitting down on a chair he was grateful for Theo standing a few feet away, organising the reporters.  
Clearing his throat, Julian looked up at the many faces in front of him and said: “Thank you all for coming. I have an announcement to make which is very important to me.” Keeping strict to the words they had gone through with PR beforehand he felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest. This was it, now or never. “I am gay!”  
Loud and surprised gasps where heard throughout the room and after a short moment of shocked silence, all the reporters started to talk at once. Julian couldn't make out one single word but luckily Theo stepped in. “Quiet please, as instructed before, no questions.” The noise in the room died down a bit, just the occasional mumble was heard here and there. “Mr. Edelman has a few more words to say and if any questions remain afterwards we ask you to send in an official interview request. Thank you!”  
Nodding towards Julian, the Wide Receiver gave a thankful nod back and then concentrated on his next words: “I've known for quite some time but was never brave enough like others to admit it to myself. I know I've hurt a few people on the way and I can't express how sorry I am about that. It took me a long time to finally realise the right thing to do and I hope it is not to late now. Thank you.” Not waiting for anymore reactions he got up and left the room. When entering the other room again all people there started clapping, giving him thumbs up and pulling him into hugs. Julian, however, didn't really feel like celebrating as, if he was being honest with himself, he was pretty scared of the reactions he would get now.  
Excusing himself, he left the building and drove home. He hadn't even arrived when his phone started ringing already. Glancing towards where it was lying on the passenger seat, he swallowed when he saw his dad's number on the screen. His mum had known as he had confessed everything to her after the break up but he had make her promise not to tell anyone even though she was convinced that no one from the family would react badly. And even though he had a great relationship with his dad he was afraid of what he was going to say about that. Parking his car in his driveway, he answered the phone: “Hello?”  
“Julian, it's your dad.”  
Waiting for a second if he would say anymore, Julian tried to judge his dad's mood from the few words he said. When there was nothing else coming from the other end, Julian just replied“Hey dad!” as he didn't know what to say.  
“Did you honestly think I would resent you for being gay?” His dad sounded a bit angry now which made Julian flinch.  
“I... I don't know, I wasn't sure how you would take it”, he answered in a small voice.  
“Are you really thinking that low of me?” Now, he sounded more hurt. “You are my son, Julian and I'm proud of you, no matter what. You achieved everything you ever wanted and proved everyone wrong, who would I be to judge you on the fact who you want to spend your life with?”  
Feeling tears gathering in his eyes, Julian let out a relieved breath he hadn't realised he was holding. “No, I was just so insecure about everything Dad, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for not trusting you enough and I'm sorry for everything I have destroyed by not being honest with you.”  
Julian was full on crying now and he realised that the last part of his sentence would be better suited if he would say that to someone else but at the moment he didn't care.  
“I know, son, I know and it's ok, I understand where you're coming from. However, we will have a serious talk the next time we'll see each other and I hope you can fix this with Danny!”  
Julian let out a surprised sound but before he could say anymore his dad had already hung up. Looking at his phone with wide eyes, he figured his mum must have told him something and he was already tipping out an angry message at her when he received one from her saying 'I didn't tell him anything, he came to that conclusion himself!'. Despite his confusion a small smile crept on his face, he deleted what he had already written and just texted back 'I love you guys'.  
Getting out of the car, he went into his house in a slightly better mood than before and with a new found enthusiasm and motivation, he started cleaning the house as he had kind of neglected that as well during the last months. Additionally, he needed something to distract him from looking at his phone every five seconds to see if Danny had contacted him. 

Two days later, there still had been no word from Danny though. All of his team mates had contacted him, however, as well as some other players from different teams he knew well, like Erik Decker, and from these guys, the response to his outing had been positive. He didn't know how it looked in the media as he had stayed away from social media platforms as well as the internet in general and had only read what his or the Patriots PR team had forwarded him. There, the reactions had been mainly positive as well, just some articles raising the question of how this would affect the team during the season and some speculating who Julian had been referring to during his press conference. Some even seemed to have made the connection to Danny, asking if that might have been the reason why the other guy had left the Patriots but every time an article touched that subject, Julian stopped reading. Yes, he was feeling better now than before but being reminded of what he had lost still hurt too much as well as the fact that he still hadn't heard anything from Danny.  
Sighing, he put his phone down where he had been reading the latest article from ESPN which Theo had forwarded him. Cleaning up his dishes from breakfast he was on his way upstairs to change into work out clothes when his door bell rang. A look at the clock confirmed that it was only quarter past seven in the morning so Julian wondered who that could be. Stepping down the stairs, he went to open the door and couldn't believe who it was.  
Standing there with an unsure expression on his face as if he was asking himself what he was doing here as well, was Danny. Julian felt like he was frozen to his spot, all he could do was stare at his ex-boyfriend with an open mouth, not able to do or say anything.  
Danny nervously stepped from one foot to the other, wringing his heads in front of him and looking at everything but Julian. Clearing his throat he asked quietly: “Uhm, could I come in?”  
Snapping out of his trance, the younger guy nodded, opened the door a bit wider and let Danny step inside, closing the door behind him. They both went straight to the living room, sitting in what used to be their usual spots on the couch yet no one said a word.  
Julian couldn't remember a time when the silence between them had been so awkward. Even at the beginning of their friendship and later relationship they had either always something to talk about or it had been a comfortable silence.  
For a few moments, Julian let the awkwardness drag on and despite him being a bit scared about the answer, he looked at Danny and asked: “What are you doing here?”  
Obviously snapping Danny out of some deep thoughts, the other guy's head shot up, his eyes seemingly taking in his surroundings again and realising where he was.  
“I... uhm...”, Danny started, scratching the side of his neck absent-mindedly. “I saw your press conference.”  
Julian nodded and even though he knew Danny knew, having that confirmed sent a swarm of butterflies lose in his stomach. He looked at Danny, patiently waiting for him to continue.  
“Well done, I guess”, the Texan let out an unsure little laugh yet was still not looking at Julian. “I missed you Jules!” The last words were whispered and Julian wasn't sure if he had heard correctly.  
“What?”, he burst out, watching Danny carefully as if he was expecting the other one to be joking.  
For the first time in ages, Danny looked Julian straight in the eyes and even if the younger one wasn't able to believe what he had just heard, he could see it in Danny's eyes.  
“I'm so sorry Julian, I was an idiot.” The words suddenly broke out of Danny and there seemed no way to stop it so Julian just listened. “I realised quite quickly that I made a mistake by leaving you but I was too proud and too hurt to admit that to myself and speak to you again. I thought I was doing the right thing as I definitely suffered with you not being able to fully commit to our relationship but I suffered even more after I left. I arrived yesterday evening already and was here last night but I didn't dare to knock so I left again. But I knew I had to talk to you and Tom kind of kicked my ass, firstly for being stupid enough to let my career be affected by that and leaving the team and secondly because he thought we were both idiots and needed to sort this out. He told me as well how depressed you were these last months and I can only repeat how sorry I am Julian!”  
After he finished he let his head fall down, staring at his hands in his lap.  
Julian was stunned into silence however. He had expected a lot but definitely not that. Yes, he had been a bit angry with Danny as well when he heard that he had signed with the Eagles but he knew why Danny had done that, because he had hurt him, pretty bad though, and Julian could understand that Danny had just wanted to get away from everything.  
He told Danny the same yet the older one just shook his head, tears forming in his eyes.  
“No Jules, I shouldn't have left you. I knew that you weren't ready yet to come out and by doing what I did I kind of forced and that is not ok. You didn't need to do what you did though but please know that I'm so proud of you. I hope you will find someone one day who appreciates you with everything you are and who knows how lucky they are to have you.”  
Standing up and turning to leave, Danny looked at Julian with a sad smile and turned around.  
Julian was confused. What the hell was Danny talking about? And more importantly, where was he going? He seemed to have asked the last question out loud as Danny paused and said in a quiet voice: “I don't deserve you Julian, not after what I've done to you. I just wanted to get these things off my chest but I promise I'll leave you alone from now on if that's what you want.” He tried to sound strong but Julian could see how his shoulders slumped after saying that.  
When Danny started to move again Julian said calmer than he had expected as his insides were a mess: “Daniel James Amendola, if you leave now don't you ever think about seeing me again.” The Californian slowly got up while Danny seemed to be frozen. “I will say this only once, so you better listen carefully. Yes, we might have both been idiots but I understand why you did what you did, Danny. I know I hurt you so much by going to all these events with these girls but I was scared. I also know now that I didn't need to be scared at all as I had you by my side and that was the best thing that ever happened to me. Maybe I needed that kick you gave me by breaking up with me to realise that but I love you Danny. I always have and probably always will so if you still want to leave now, fine but don't you dare... umpf.”  
He was successfully prevented from finishing his sentence by Danny's lips on his. For a moment, they just enjoyed the others lips before they broke apart, grinning at each other.  
“I'm sorry that I didn't realise it earlier!” Julian mumbled, a guilty look on his face.  
“And I'm sorry for rashly moving to Philadelphia”, Danny said, an equally guilty expression on his features. “But hey, it's just a 5 hour drive or one hour flight and I always loved competing against you.” He gave Julian a sheepish grin which made them both laugh before their lips found each other in another deep kiss.


End file.
